“Not only so, but we also glory in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance; perseverance, character; and character, hope.” -Romans 5:3-4 (NIV)
I like this verse. it's hard to see adversity as a good thing, but it almost always is.I wrote the above post over a year ago and never posted it. I hate it when my own words come back to haunt me. I hate adversity. I just want life to be fun and easy. Is that too much to ask??
“The fear of the LORD is the beginning of wisdom, and knowledge of the Holy One is understanding.” -Proverbs 9:10 (NIV)
I slept really well last night and I know that's because I woke up out of a really intense dream. I was trying to get a poster made, or maybe a picture limited, I'm not really sure, but I lived in Winslow and I went to Waterville to get some help. the woman who ran the shop open for shop up late to help me out and then came back to Winslow with me to try to help me get my work done.
I felt a deep connection with the woman who was trying to help me. I don't believe I have ever met her, but I felt that I have known her for all my life. I am left today with a sense of loss, a wish, a hope, a dream that maybe I will see her again.
war was coming. nobody talked about it. but we all knew that a war was coming. they had rebuilt be chicken coop on the Winslow and of the Waterville-Winslow bridge. there was a sense of urgency. It's could all breakdown at any moment.
then I woke up
I promised someone I would spend some time in prayer and read my Bible today. My father often encouraged me to do so, and I know he would be pleased to see me try. I don't believe reading the Bible and praying every day makes you a good person. Terrible acts have been committed by the most devout while they have been intently reading and praying every day. So the point is not to be a good person, a super Christian, a hero, or even to be more valuable.
It makes sense to me when I think about it, I've just never thought about it. My only goal behind spending time with God must be to build a relationship with my creator. If I have any other goals I will be sorely disappointed. God's love for me will not change, nor will my own humanity.
Psalm 23:1
- The Lord is my shepherd, I shall not want. -kjv
- The Lord is my shepherd, I lack nothing. -niv
- You, Lord, are my shepherd, I will never be in need. -cev
- The Lord is my Shepherd [to feed, guide, and shield me], I shall not lack. -amp
- God, my shepherd! I don’t need a thing. -msg
This verse resonates with me, and yet seems so strange. I do believe that my God is my provider, and I don't usually worry about having the things I need. I guess to say that I've always trusted in God for these things would be somewhat inaccurate. I've trusted in my parents, our society, our government.
Wanting nothing, needing nothing. I'm sure Christians have died of starvation. I'm sure we have gone without our physical needs met. I know we go without our spiritual needs met. We believe we worship a God who can provide us our every need and yet, we go wanting. We go on needing.
Is it our lack of faith?
I hate the mere suggestion. Faith was such an abused word in the churches where I grew up. You don't understand? You lack faith. The Bible seems to contradict itself? You lack faith. You're stressed out? You lack faith. You don't feel well? You lack faith. You're not healed yet? You lack faith. You've sinned? You lack faith. Faith was the answer for everything to which the leaders could not answer, and as such my idea of what faith might be became a mere shadow of a concept of something foul and disgusting.
Perhaps I'm taking it out of context.
Psalm 23 -nkjv
- The Lord is my shepherd; I shall not want.
- He makes me to lie down in green pastures; He leads me beside the still waters.
- He restores my soul; He leads me in the paths of righteousness For His name’s sake.
- Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil; For You are with me; Your rod and Your staff, they comfort me.
- You prepare a table before me in the presence of my enemies; You anoint my head with oil; My cup runs over.
- Surely goodness and mercy shall follow me All the days of my life; And I will dwell[a] in the house of the Lord Forever.
I can't possibly comment on the wisdom of this verse. I guess I can only say what it means to me, and probably more importantly what I think it might be intended to mean to me.
I want things. I'm not in a state of rest. I don't have a green pasture in which to lie down. My life does not currently have still waters. My soul is restored, and I do believe I now walk in the paths of righteousness for God's name sake though I would never say it that way anywhere but here. I don't think my life has any valleys of the shadow of death, but I think if I were in a deep dark place I would probably have some fear. God is with me. I believe I have endured hardship at my own hand because God loves me, strange as that may sound. My enemies watch me succeed. My cup runneth.
Some of these things reign true in my life. Some do not. So either this verse is untrue or God is not my shepherd.
Dear God,The one to whom I promised this said my day would be better today, and I would feel so much better after spending some time reading my Bible and praying. Right now I feel disturbed, upset and a little sick. I guess we'll have to see about the rest of the day.
The scriptures have been used to incite shame, guilt, fear and negativity in my life, and I lived in a place for so long where everything was dark because I believed those who used scripture to show me that I am evil, unworthy, vile. I no longer believe those things, and I no longer live in that darkness, but when I read your word and pray in any sort of a religious way it brings back feelings of darkness, rage and hatred.
If you and I are going to have a relationship, it's going to have to be based on something else, or my views on this book will have to change.
Jonathan
“Do not boast about tomorrow, for you do not know what a day may bring.” -Proverbs 27:1 (NIV)
How true. How timely.
I had a horrible feeling following my previous post. my motivations behind posting scriptures recently and commenting on them has been to honor my father. am faking it? it was the feeling of deception. I had the feeling that I'm not being real, and that is a horrible feeling.
it's so easy for me to speak passionately and from the heart. it is a much more difficult thing for me to define what it is that I believe. at any given moment, I think what I believe depends heavily upon how I feel. so in the interest of being real, let me say a few things that I think I believe...at the moment...
I believe God loves me and wants me to be happy.
beyond that, I'm just not sure. I hope that Jesus is the Son of God and that he died for my sins. I don't believe the entire Bible is the inspired word of God. I fear absolutes. anything absolute deprives me of my ability to think for myself and gives you an excuse to not take responsibility for your own will. ironically, that belief in and of itself is an absolute.
I guess I can't really say for sure that I know anything. I don't know that I have faith in anything. I don't know for sure that anything I believe is true.
probably the biggest reason these scriptures and my comments feel fake is it's not something I would do...not anymore anyway. the scripture tends to revive with in me a religious fundamental sense of Christianity and it's easy for me to ramble on as such.
whatever, I think I'm rambling.
“Teach me to do your will, for you are my God; may your good Spirit lead me on level ground.” -Psalm 143:10 (NIV)
To give up my will, though spiritual as it sounds, I think incredibly dangerous...Maybe to do the will of God I must choose every day, every hour, every moment, not to lose my will but to choose from my will to do His.
